“Parentified children learn to take responsibility for themselves and others early on. They tend to fade into the woodwork and let others take center stage. This extends into adulthood - adult children may put others' needs before their own. They may have difficulty accepting care and attention.” **Kimberlee Rot**

Parentification takes on many of a parent's responsibilities, duties, and functions. This can occur in children who have lost or never had their biological parent(s). It is common among children whose parents are absent due to divorce, death or abandonment.

Parentification can also occur when a child takes on parenting roles for their siblings, mainly if they are at least 10 years younger than the sibling. One survey found that over 60% of adolescents identified themselves as caregivers for someone who could not be self-sufficient (often due to illness).

Instrumental parentification occurs when parents assign responsibilities to their children that aren't age-appropriate, as opposed to emotional parentification, which occurs when a child moves in to fulfill a parent's emotional needs. Providing support, determining the parents' emotional needs, and responding to the market are all responsibilities of the child. Consider the cry of a child whose parent forgot their birthday. Instead of comforting the child, the parent complains about the stress, leaving them with little time to think. As a result, the child stifles their pain and tries to support their parents.

What is Parentification?

Parentification is the act of a child taking on the role of caretaker. This can happen when parents cannot fulfill their responsibilities or when one parent is absent, and the other has to pick up both parts.

Many children who experience parentification never get over it; they grow up with difficulties forming healthy relationships as adults because they have been forced into too much responsibility at an early age. Some seek out partners who need them, while others isolate themselves instead. Both options lead to further isolation from society at considerable and more difficulty forming healthy bonds with others later in life. Parentification can take many forms, but it almost always involves a parent being physically or emotionally absent. A child may be forced to take on responsibilities they are not ready for, such as cooking dinner or cleaning the house. When this happens repeatedly, a young person can begin to feel responsible for the family's success or failure—and that feeling can stick with them into adulthood.

Why it occurs?

Parentification is a challenging and complex issue. Several factors, including depression, divorce, death in the family, and financial problems, can cause it. Some parents may also have grown up in an abusive home. The reasons for parentification are varied and complex.

Parents may be dealing with depression or other mental health issues, divorce, a death in the family, or financial problems. They may also have grown up in an abusive home. When a parent is dealing with depression or other mental health issues, they may not have the energy to be adequate. They may also have trouble maintaining boundaries between themselves and their children, which leads them to rely more heavily on their children for support. Children who grow up parentified often feel like they must take on adult responsibilities early and do not get to experience childhood as they should. They may also have less opportunity for playtime as adults tend to work longer hours than children.

Parentification can be damaging to the child and their development.

The child may feel responsible for the parent's emotional well-being. The child may be expected to take on adult responsibilities, such as helping with household chores or finances, which can prevent them from developing hobbies or interests. They may also have no time for friendships because they are constantly busy taking care of others' needs instead of their own.

The effects of parentification can be damaging to the child's development. For children to grow into healthy adults, they need time with other children their age; however, when they are expected to act like adults. This becomes problematic when they become adults, unable to participate in healthy relationships with a balance of give and take. They are always in providing mode and feel incredibly uncomfortable as adults if someone offers them support, even if they require it at some point. Child development experts say this type of parenting can cause severe problems for kids later in life. Children who grow up taking on adult roles are less likely to develop independence, self-confidence, and social skills—and they may also develop anxiety disorders such as depression or PTSD.

Parentification can be a formative experience in a child's life. It is important to remember that children are not adults, and they need guidance and support from their parents. The best way to prevent parentification is by establishing clear boundaries as early as possible between parents and children so there is no confusion about roles within the family unit.