Just Some Confessions Of A Therapist
“You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.” David Mitchell
Mental health is often talked about but rarely practiced. In our sessions, many clients have expressed that sometimes the support they receive from their loved ones is fickle. One client confessed that positive toxicity statements made them feel like burdens. She was told, “Oh, it could be worse; count your blessings; find the silver lining.” This not only minimizes her feelings but also invalidates them too. She said her loved ones' compassion became stale quickly, and she felt like a "negative Nancy." She couldn't shake off the feeling that death would be her peace.
Another client had a trusted friend who knew he was suicidal and said, "I noticed you were MIA, but I knew you'd bounce back." Justifying why he never bothered to check in when he knew my client was on the verge of suicide. That same unsupportive friend then posted on social media about the importance of mental health check-ins. He was rightfully enraged and disgusted by this because it was so hypocritical.
Mental health discussions often feel like trendy accessories, prioritizing false empathy that boosts the altruistic ego over genuine human connection.
Suicidal ideation and depression are not light or easy topics. They are heavy, and many people cannot bear depression alone, nor should they have to. The situation is particularly dire for men. Another man confided in his colleagues that he was suicidal, and his colleagues pretended that the conversation hadn't happened. Many men seem to struggle with expressing and sharing their emotions. In general, they seldom turn to one another in times of need. A person suffering from depression may feel ashamed, weak, or abnormal and ultimately that no one will truly understand. Changing this radically is necessary.
It's not just a matter of feeling sad—it's a mental illness that can negatively impact one's ability to function in daily life. Depression can be emotionally and physically debilitating, making it hard to get out of bed in the morning or enjoy the activities you once loved. Depression can be caused by genetics, brain chemistry and environment—and it can happen to anyone at any time.
We'd all like to think that there's some magic way to think our way out of depression, but that's not how it works for everyone. Some people need medication or therapy to manage their symptoms, while others may be able to manage them with lifestyle changes like getting more exercise and eating healthy foods.
Depression can feel isolating, not just for those experiencing it but also for their loved ones. As a society, we must deepen our understanding of this complex condition and explore more ways to support those we care about. By educating ourselves about the signs of depression and learning effective communication strategies, we can create a more compassionate environment where individuals feel safe to share their struggles. Let’s foster open conversations, encourage professional help when needed, and remind our loved ones that they are not alone. Together, we can break the stigma surrounding depression and provide the support that can make all the difference in someone’s journey toward healing. In this blog, I share the challenges some of my clients have faced in finding support, with the hope that my message of empathy and education resonates deeply with you.
