Truly Being Seen
Hurt, pain, and grudges are like toxic waste—they're bad for your health and they can poison you if you don't get them out of your system.
Being seen is a double-edged sword. Some people enjoy being seen because they are used to being praised, loved and accepted. They believe that if others admire them, then they must be doing something right. Then others will do everything possible to avoid recognition for their natural skill sets and talents. They want to blend into the crowd and stay under the radar. Being noticed or praised makes them uncomfortable and anxious because they don't feel they deserve it.
Understanding why you think the way you are about being seen is essential because it can directly impact your success in life.
If you don't know why you feel this way, ask yourself these questions:
Do I like being noticed? Why or why not?
What does it mean when someone sees me? On what level (emotional, physical, intellectual)?
When did I feel embarrassed or ashamed about something I did? Did anyone notice?
Do you know who you are?
I mean, genuinely know who you are as a person. I don’t mean your job title or any label anyone has assigned you based on gender, age, race, or creed. Without these titles, what is the essence of your soul? The world has already seen who you are. And it’s time to see yourself for who you are, too. You’re not perfect, and that’s OK. No one is. But at the same time, there’s no reason to hide who you are. You were born an original; don’t die a copy. It may be time to let go of what others think about you, let go of the lower self-version, and start embracing your higher self.
What would it feel like if the world saw your true self? Could it be that the world has already seen your true self, but you have not seen yourself in your own eyes yet? Maybe you don’t even know your true self, so how can anyone else see it?
Knowing who we are is a challenge. I mean truly knowing who we are. It’s not something you were taught in kindergarten; it’s something that you learn throughout life. Our identity isn’t something we can learn in a day, a year, or even a lifetime—it’s an ongoing journey with many stages along the way.
You see, there are many facets to who we are, and these aspects make up our whole. The sum of all our parts is what makes us the person we present to the world.
In our lives, we experience many things. These experiences create character traits that influence our life decisions, actions and reactions. Our experiences shape our beliefs, values, and attitudes. They also help us form opinions and perspectives on the world around us. 70% of adults in the United States have experienced a traumatic event, while 63% of Canadians have experienced at least one traumatic event in their lifetime.
We can only be authentic once we know ourselves and feel safe with trustworthy people.
Building trust takes time and can be challenging. It is essential to take your time to find the right people to trust and to make sure that the trust is reciprocal. Once you have developed these relationships, it can be gratifying. But if we continue to withhold our true selves from the world, we are not presenting the whole person but rather a limited version. When we are inauthentic and holding back who we really are out of fear
Remember, there is only one of you, and it's time to shine your light.
You are a beautiful, unique soul. No one else in this world is like you, which makes you unique. Many of us are taught that being different is not OK as we grow up. We are told to be “normal” and to blend in with the crowd. But just because someone looks different than I do doesn’t mean they aren't just as good as me! Being comfortable with who we are and learning to love our differences is vital to true happiness! We can all agree that being seen is essential, right? We need to be seen and heard to feel connected. But when we're afraid of being seen, it causes us to armour up: keep hidden, protect ourselves.
We are social creatures born to connect. Our ability to survive and thrive depends on our ability to connect.
We are afraid to be seen because that means vulnerability at some junction. We don't allow ourselves the freedom of being seen, heard and known; we don't want others to see us or listen to what we have to say. If they do, they might disagree with our point of view or feel differently about some aspect of their life than we do. And that would mean conflict! So much easier to keep things hidden away where no one can see or question them--and then everyone gets along nicely in their little bubbles without any drama!
But here's the thing: if you're not willing or able (or both), there will always be something missing from your relationships with people around you because there will always be some part of yourself that remains inaccessible and unseen by others--as well as by yourself!
As a result of this fear, many people choose to block themselves from connecting with others. They refuse to share their ideas and opinions because they don't want to be criticized or ridiculed for them. They hold back on asking for help when needed because they fear being seen as incompetent by others. And worst of all, they often hide their true passions and desires from the world simply because they think no one would understand them if they did!
We protect ourselves, our hearts, our egos.
We are afraid of being rejected.
We are afraid of being judged.
We're terrified of being laughed at or penalized for taking a risk when it might not pay off in the end (or even if it does).
We protect ourselves -- our hearts, our egos -- from being seen by others but disconnecting does not protect us from ourselves.
You've heard the old saying, "We can't hide from ourselves." It's true. We can try to smooth out our flaws and hide them under a veneer of perfection and shiny things, but eventually, those cracks will show through, and our true selves will be revealed. When we're in a group setting, and someone asks a question, it's common for people to hold back their answers or opinions because they are afraid of what others will think of them. They may feel their opinion doesn't matter, so they don't want to share it with the group. The result is that everyone remains silent, and nothing gets resolved--the opposite of what you want if your goal is a connection!
We can create a shared sense of purpose and commitment to the common good by leaning into our interdependence. We must recognize that our safety and security depend on each other and work together to build a better future.
“Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means” Ronald Regan
